WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
