when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
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Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
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Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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