Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i dont even know how to be here
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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