There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
