I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
