dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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