If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
