so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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