as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
