there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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