it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
