I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
