Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
