Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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