Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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