Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
