Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
