I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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