That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
