He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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