I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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