Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
