they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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