I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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