He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize