she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Randomize
