Me too!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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