he thought i was a dude.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
