id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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