Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
