I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
