what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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