the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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