imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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