I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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