I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Four minutes until I can fart!
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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