whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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