so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
