Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
