Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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