Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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