Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
