You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize