Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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