Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
