And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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