I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
