They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
