Non-Jews are for practice
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
