Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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