May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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