its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
