Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
