what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
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