You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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