how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
