just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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