fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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