I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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