it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize