i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
